Blonde moments...

Boy do I have one too many of these. I haven't posted anything new to my blog until now because: 1. Well I have been busy w/church stuff, my 3 month old, and various what-nots, and 2. because I forgot my password. Yes I'm an idiot.
Throughout the life of Erin there have been quite distinct blonde moments. Only I'm going to call them Erin moments...because these are so much MORE than just blonde moments...and if you know me, then you'll know why they are "Erin moments". (OK, I'm now muting the toilet paper commercial on the TV because quite frankly the bears wiping their butts and leaving behind toilet tissue is very distracting.)

Erin moment #1: I used to drive a 96 Ford Probe. It was my first car, and I used to love it! It was always clean and shiny and smelled good on the inside...one dark, cold, and snowy night the poor probe was broken into. I was up in the wee hours of the morn (around 3:30 am) going into work as the lifeguard at the local YMCA. When much to my suprise, everything inside my car was gone...my radio was ripped out, leaving all the lonely wires hanging loose, my book bag for school was gone, and all my cheesy Backstreet Boys and NSync cd's were...yes...GONE. I called the cops to file a police report. About this time I see a strange small car lurking throughout the neighborhood, stopping at each house. "That's the theif!" I thought. So when a cop arrived after a few minutes, I told him I saw the theif and he was creeping and stoking out other houses! I pointed down the street and said "he went that way!" The cop jumped in his car and sped off, swirving and fishtailing on the icy roads. He came back about 10 minutes later to tell me he must have gotten away because he didn't see anyone. I continued to fill out the police report w/him, and off to work I went...extremely sad, depressed, and angry that I had to drive to work in complete silence because there was no radio. My sister called me about an hour later to tell me the small lurking car that was "creeping around" was in fact the paper boy...stopping at each house to put the paper in their boxes. Yes, I sent the cop after the paper boy.

Erin moment #2: Years ago when TJ and I were just dating, I was hanging out at his house with the fam. His mom was making lunch...grilling out burgers, hot dogs and such. I was helping her in the kitchen when she said, "Go tell Terry to turn on the grill." I was much obliged to do this...as I was so hungry my stomach was eating itself. I never called TJ's dad, "Terry" instead I always called him "butthead". So I hollered, "hey butthead, turn the grill on!" He very seriously looked at me and said "well I ain't got the keys, I don't know where they are!" I actually believed him...I told Fonda that he didn't have the keys to the grill...now what? Fonda burst into laughter as she said "you don't have to have keys for the grill...he's just teasing with you!"

Erin moment #3: When I was a young teenager, I used to get cramps on the side in my lower abdomen. I was complaining to my mom one day about it, and she said "show me where the pain is exactly". So I pointed to it, and she very seriously says "Yeah, you probably have twisted ovaries." OMG!!! I really thought for a while that I had this horrible condition called twisted ovaries, and after telling my friends about it, and letting me believe it for a while, mom finally told me while laughing "oh there's no such thing as twisted ovaries! I made it up!"

Erin moment #4: I called TJ a skinhead out loud while sitting at Craker Barrel. I thought the word "skinhead" was what they called jock football players. Needless to say, our waitress who was African-American was standing right by the table when I said "oh, my little skinhead!" and rubbed his bald head.

Erin moment #5: I was on a mission trip with my youth group, back in the day. We went to Canada. And when I say "went" I mean we DROVE to canada...all packed in a huge 15 passenger van. On the way there, I thought I would tell this hilarious joke about a Leprachan who walked into a bar...and he spit out beer and said....no wait he walked into the bar and peed and said....no no that's not right. A leprechan walked into a bar and ordered a beer and said he had to pee...no I know the joke, just couldn't think of it...so my youth pastor looked at me in the rearview mirror and said "I don't think that's a very appropriate joke..." and I responded with "no I know I know this joke, let me try it again. A Leprechan was drinking a beer..." and this went on for about 15 minutes. To this day I still don't remember the joke. And looking back, I think I totally offended the youth pastor and my fellow youth group peeps!

Erin moment #6: I went out with my friends for one of their birthdays. I believe we went to the Macaroni Grill. We were taking pictures with each other, and giving her gifts, and I hollered "Happy Barmitzvah!" I could've swore that meant "Happy Birthday" in Jewish. I think everyone in the restaurant was laughing under their breath at me.

Well although I could go on and on with Erin moments, I'll stop here. Maybe another day I'll post some more Erin moments for a good laugh! Hang around me for a little while, and I'll end up saying or doing something extremely stupid and embarrassing...because that's how I roll!