Whew...

I feel like I've had an extremely busy week! I'm going to really try to start blogging more often, I swear! It's hard to get in the habit of doing this. Got Peyton's pictures done on Friday...let me just say that Portrait Innovations is a great place to go! (note: Erin is not a paid endorser of this place...but could be.) Anyway, you get a lot of pics for your money, it's just hard to narrow down which ones you want.
On to another totally different note...I found out that one must MAKE pickles...evidently cucumbers don't just turn into pickles after sitting around for a long time. I wonder who in the world ever thought to make things like pickles. I think the fried pickles I ate last night gave me bizzare dreams...but then again, I always have bizzare dreams.
Case in point: I had yet another reoccuring "toilet" dream last night. I constantly have dreams that I have to go pee (really bad) and every toilet I come across is totally disgusting and overflowing everywhere! I also dream that I can't find any women's restrooms, they are all unisex, and there are no stall doors. Weird, I know.
I also dreamed about my dad again. I have reoccuring dreams about him all the time too! Those dreams are bizzare b/c they seem very real, and I'm usually talking to him about things that are going on in my life now...like I'm catching him up on my life. It's nice to have those dreams b/c I miss him sooooo increadibly much! I wake up feeling like I got to visit with him, and that feels nice. I'm glad my lingering memories of him aren't the ones neccesarily from the hospital, but they're good ones. Whenever I dream about him, he never looks sick (like he did for his last few months). I have recently dremt several times that I am dying of cancer, and it scares me to death. I'm so afraid of getting cancer like almost everyone else in my family! My papaw is the only one who has overcome cancer...and then he had 2 strokes (still doing fine and getting better, though!) Even though my sisters, mom and I went to visit dad in the hospital all the time, saw him get down to 80 something pounds, saw him fight like hell for his life for the sake of us girls...my memories of him are still so sweet. Pancreatic cancer is one of the most aggresive cancers, and the survival rate is the most slim. I remember sitting by his hospital bed when he would be sleeping, holding his hand and bargaining with God, "If you just let him live, I promise I'll go to church more often...I promise I'll not screw up so much...If you just do this one thing, I'll never ask for anything else ever agian..." and so on. I hate the saying "everything happens for a reason." I'd rather say "things happen in a way in which you will grow and learn from." My dad got saved on his hospital bed...and as much as I hate to admit it, I don't know that he would've been saved any other way. As much as I would absolutely love for him to be here to see all of his awesome grandbabies, it's taken me years to be at peace with the fact that he's better off in heaven. Wow, this post went from pictures and pickles to dark and dreary...not meant to be dark and dreary...my apologies! Let me just give some (probably unwanted) advise: your parents are the only ones you will EVER have...cherish every second with them! When I was a young teenager (before dad was sick) I used to be so mean to him sometimes...I'd roll my eyes, talk back, etc. I remember one time we got in an argument and I yelled that I hated him. I will never ever forget the look on his face, and I wish that was one thing in my life I could take back! Before the tears start a commin', I'm signing off...here's to sweet dreams and good memories! :)